I have this problem with yelling. I can't help it. Sometimes I yell when it's absolutely unnecessary. It's just a reflex. My kids do something even SLIGHTLY annoying? I will start yelling, even if it doesn't even warrant a slight raising of my voice. Don't get me wrong, there is a LOT of behavior around here that warrants a voice-raising! But, not everything. So I'm trying to be better.
I grew up in a house with a lot of yelling. And I always hated it. I cried a lot. I was scared to get into trouble because I didn't want to get yelled at. And I guess how I was treated (not badly by any means!!! It was just...loud.) has become a part of my own personality. And I HATE it.
I can see the look in my kids' eyes when I yell at them. They are frightened. They are small. They misbehave. It's part of their learning-process, and I know this. I also see it in how they treat each other - they yell at each other. They yell at me. It's not right. I know I should be more patient, but it's SO. FREAKING. HARD.
Ordinarily, this is the kind of thing that would have me IRATE. I was upstairs with her brother so I wasn't watching her closely. I had to take a breath as I gathered up the markers and just...let it go. She was so happy, so...is it really worth yelling over? I decided no.My #2, my girl, just officially became a "Threenager" and, man, is she TESTING ME!!! Daily. She's driving me fucking insane, really. And my response has been to yell at her. And, it really just makes things worse. She cries harder when I yell, which makes me yell more, and it's just a horrible cycle!
A few weeks ago she sat next to me and touched my face (if you know her, you know she's a real face toucher), and she said "Mommy, you have to be nicer." I mean...talk about heartbreak. I HATE that my kids think I'm mean. They are so small. They shouldn't feel that way about me.
(Ignore the cockroaches in the background.) She looks so cute right? Well, in reality, she refused to give me back my $80 sunglasses and I just gave in to avoid tears. Then she dropped them and they got scratched beyond repair. We were at the zoo. I didn't yell. It's just sunglasses right? And, really, it's my fault for not being more insistent she return them. Right? That's what I told myself.So lately (like, this last week, LOL!) I've been trying to keep my cool more. I've really been making an effort to not SCREAM at them for minor misbehavior. Instead, I've been giving them warnings, like "Mommy is getting upset with your behavior. If you don't stop,"MEAN MOMMY" is going to come out and you're not going to like it." My kids DO NOT like "Mean Mommy." So, this has been working.
I feel better at the end of the day not having screamed at my kids over things that just don't matter. So I'm going to keep trying to keep "Mean Mommy" in check. I'm working on picking my battles and keeping my voice calm and cool.
It was 11:30pm. She refused to sleep. She snuck out of her room and got into my makeup and put lipstick all over her face. I didn't yell. I just Snapchatted it. LOL! Sometimes, you just HAVE to laugh.I know I'm not the only mom who has this problem. If you've been able to curb your loudness, how'd you do it? I'm open to advice on this one!!!
Until next time,